The Myth of “Selfish” Exploded

By Sara Jane 

STOP, take a deep breath, exhale and clear your mind.

Let go of all distractions, switch off your phone, the television and your computer.

Be still, just be in the Now.

Yes, by doing this you are taking time for yourself, time to re-charge your batteries.

Is it selfish to have “me time”, to do the things that “speak” to you, to make a choice that “feels right” for you?

Your answer should be NO – No it is not selfish.

Let’s look at the word selfish and what it truly means.

You are asked to do something or to help someone but what they are asking doesn’t feel right or they have asked so many times that they should be capable by now of doing it themselves, especially as you have helped them so often in the past; it really doesn’t fit in with your plans and choices.

No you aren’t

If the individual that asked you accuses you of being selfish, says that you are only thinking of yourself; realise that they are accusing you of being exactly what they are being.

Have you registered what you have just read?

Have you fully taken in the meaning of those words?

Yes, the one who is being selfish is the one who is telling you that you are being selfish for not going against your better judgement, for not falling in with their plans.

Shock horror, all these years you have done things for others because you didn’t wish to appear selfish and it turns out you were never the selfish one.

For so many people all they wish to do is help others and sometimes they would like a little help in return.

Answer honestly, have you ever done this?

There is something you would like someone to do to help you or for you.

So you start thinking what can I do for them “in exchange”.

You don’t ask them, you just make an assumption of something you think they would like, that would be nice for them and you do it.

Then the real reason for your “kindness” comes out, you ask if they would help you.

For many this puts them under pressure to reciprocate, even if what you “did for them” was of no benefit and could actually have been a hindrance.

This is selfish on the part of the person trying to manipulate things.

There is a way around this, an alternative action and it is so radical – it’s called “Asking”.

If someone has a skill or there is something you would like their help with, ASK them and offer “is there anything I can do for you in exchange?”.

No one should ever assume they know what is best for another or put another way, think they know best what another needs.

The use of the word selfish has been so abused that it has left those who are being true to themselves being labelled as “selfish”, when in fact the opposite is true.

This is Your Life ~ be True to You

With Guests David McLeod & Junie Moon Schreiber, Sara discussed this topic, you can watch it below.